Date Night #2

When Friday, August 29th
Where: Dinner at Yen Ching in Orange
What: Chinese Food! Yipee!

Fridays. You know I love them. They lead to the weekend and that is all about me and my time. What I don't love is the Friday night traffic between Simi Valley and home. Lucky for me, the office closed early in anticipation of the three day weekend, so I got out at about 3:40PM. Robert wanted to have me over for dinner Friday night. O.K., but recognize I went straight from work to his house and:

1) I was in work clothes
2) I might not have been in the best of moods because of the length of time it took me sitting in a car in traffic to travel back into Orange County
3) I'd rather go home and freshen up, change the frock, dump the electronics and then go to dinner.

...but I decide to run with it anyway. He didn't care that I only have work clothes with me. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing at this point, but I do think he wanted me to at least come over soon, so that was cool. That will teach me to pack a bag with a change of clothes for both situations - work and play for Friday's.

I landed in Orange to find no parking and was told to park in front of his garage. O.K., and then I had to haul my heavy ass electronics briefcase upstairs with me because like hell if I was going to leave it in my car at night. That is just an invitation for trouble. He greets me with an sour apple martini at the door? Sweet. Now I'm thinking he wants to get me drunk, but no - he uses alcohol to relax as most men do. I get to sit just long enough to drink my martini when he like said to me, "I'm hungry - let's go".

The place was right around the corner... so close, we totally did not have to drive there. We were looking at almost the same things on the menu - shrimp in lobster sauce and then I got shredded pork with vegetables. He wanted hot and sour and I wanted egg drop so we got that. To drink, he ordered wine and I didn't want to mix it up with my martini and get sick later, so I ordered a water with lemon. Later, the waitress brought by a vegetable rolled thing with plum sauce. I thought it tasted like chocolate hazelnut and very sweet. Robert tried a bite of mine just to see what the hell it was because he doesn't like sweets. It was O.K., but just different and not what I ordered.

So the waitress was being very personable and after she delivered the wine asked us if we were married or a couple. And we both turned to each other and gave this look and smiled. Awh. No, it's actually date #2 Robert said. And she said we'd make a cute couple. By now I'm think he slipped her a $20 in the back when he went to the bathroom or was working real hard for a good tip. HAHA, so I sip on my water and Robert ends up finishing the bottle of wine - oops... must of been a bad week at work and he's toast. I didn't drink at dinner and I told him I would drive him in his truck home. I have drove a big truck before because I inherited my dad's Dodge Ram and so his 750 horsepower Ford no problem. And it's got stepsides for me!

The waitress was so nice - the bill was $75!! Dang, I haven't been to a meal that pricey since sushi. And we walk out with two heaping bags of food to take home because you know I eat like a bird (one plate of chinese food with one cup of rice).

I'd get take out next time to see if it's any cheaper getting food there that way.
We ended up both falling asleep on the couch watching T.V. happy and full of chinese food...

Not Good Enough

As I walk down the hall in the morning on the way to my office, I pass by a bulletin board that is maintained by Countrywide folks. Generally it's a rahrah about what is going on and who achieved what, but lately and especially after the B of A buyout, the tone seems to have changed.

Now what I've seen on the board is this company sanctioned slogan "be an agent of change". I've gotta tell ya, I don't like it. It's vague and I don't think just changing is good enough. I think you need more than just a change because just a change can go either way - good or bad. Change for changes sake is just a change and doesn't have to be positive or negative, it's just change.

I think the slogan needs to strive for something more than just a change, something other than just a difference. I think the slogan should be something like, "be an agent of effectivness" and not just plain vanilla change. I can change my socks and that's just a change but if I'm an agent of effectivness, well that speaks more to me than wearing clean socks. That tells me something else is going on which has had a positive effect. Somehow I like the sound of that a whole lot better.

We, as humans, should not just grow and change but strive to be better, more effective people in our lives.

6 Things Not To Do

In life, there are consequence for you actions.

On Match.com, I have posted my profile, subscribed for three months and now I also get these 'matches by mail' so a few times a week maybe, I get an email with a list of men with photos who supposedly, in match.com's view, match me.

Sometimes, I have to laugh because:

1) They keep sending me men who want kids and I'm done with that phase of my life. My son is 21 and at age 42, I don't see myself being a mother again at this stage in my life. I don't mind if they have teenagers to college age offspring like me, but a new baby? No, not for me. Takes up too much time, money and energy to raise a child well and I should know being a single parent.

2) Men who post a photo in a hat and sunglasses will not get my attention. That says to me you were having fun in the sun with someone you probably dated who cared enough about you at the time to snap a photo of you, and then she shared said photo with you which reminds you of the good times you had with her, but now she is gone from your life as well as conveniently 'cropped out of the picture' and you are now looking a good time with me? Err, auhh, no.

Not to mention that I want to see a full facial expression in a mug shot. I've got to be attracted to you in order to initiate communication and I do not get that opportunity when you're all covered up in a hat and sunglasses. Just stop that. Stick to the smiling mug shot, please.

3) Same thing goes for men who post vacation photos as a part of their profile. Keep those for your own personal photo albums and don't bother to post them onto your profile fellas, and here's why. A trip you took in the past with another woman is no guarantee you will ever go there again nor does it represent having any sort of fun there with me in the future. It's your history with her and you can keep that to yourself.

4) I don't look my age, so it's one of the reasons I don't date men who are more than a few years older than me. If match.com could actually match me to a guy who was -5 to +2 my age and we had something, anything in common, and I was attracted to him as well, that would be nice. So no more 50+ year olds because I'm nobodies 'hot young thang' anymore and I don't care if they are +80 percent my match. Ain't gonna happen!

As well as the fact that I find hard to connect to a man who is telling me about their grand kids, AHH! (That actually happened on eharmony.com, so I don't use that service anymore. OMG, What were they thinking?!?)

5) Don't bother to post a brief general description of what "an active, women who enjoys the outdoors" you want without the specifics of who you want known on your section choices. This says "bootie call" all over it. Don't waste my time - I'm trying to meet my match here! Go to adultfriendfinder.com or the 'misc romance' section of craigslist.org if you want to get your freak on quick and nasty. I'm looking for something a little deeper, thank you.

6) When I see a profile that says 'separated', it really makes me wonder if you're lying to me and what truly is going on in your life right now. Don't lie about your marital status. If you're unhappy in your relationship with your wife/girlfriend, don't take your pent-up sexual frustrations out on an unsuspecting female on a dating site, for God's sake. Karma is a bitch and your ill will upon women will come back around to wreak havoc in your life and then you'll be sitting there sad and lonely wondering why no one wants to date your silly ass. No one loves a lier. It gets old real quick, not to mention trust or the lack thereof is the #1 relationship killer, right above communication, so just don' do it.

Date Night #1

The Day: Friday night, August 22nd
The Place: PJ Abbey's in the city of Orange at 8PM

I did not even think I was going to be on time because I had to commute from Simi Valley to Tustin to get home and get ready for my date with Robert. I left the office early and literally drove for a solid 3 hours straight in typically super busy Friday night traffic. It was 7PM when I pulled into my driveway. I showered, drew my face on, and picked out an outfit.

Finding the place was easy once I got the address and looked at the map. It's located one block south-east of the Orange Circle. I was actually on time and Robert was the one who called to say he was running late! haha Usually works the other way around for me. I'm constantally late on my time.

Dinner was seared ahi tuna steak, basmati rice and seasonal mixed vegetables. I drank one peartini that was so large and strong, I was definiately feeling it even after the meal. I tried sipping on water, but only time would allow me to get into my car and drive myself home after drinking that monster martini.

He talks a lot but it's cool because it's authoritative without putting on airs and it's not fluff either. And I can tell he's not talking because he likes to hear the sound of his own voice. It's a good thing I'm a good listener. He recognized I don't look my age and I think he likes that fact.

At about 9:40, we walked over to the District Lounge where my friend Kenny Howes was playing. I said 'Hi', and noted that The Glimmer Stars were there as well as a few other orange county based pop bands. Kenny had a good set and I let the bassist know on Saturday with a comment on his Myspace page. I might even say "Bad Ass".

At about 10:30, after drink #2: a gin and tonic for Robert and a crap ass ginger ale (don't even bother trying to order one there, they don't carry it), Robert needed to get some rest so he called it a night. I imaging he was awake for almost 20 hours or so at that point.

He walked me to my car, said parting words, gave me a hug, asked me on another date mid-embrace, gave me a quick kiss on the lips when I said 'yes' and called me gorgeous. AWHHH. That made me smile.

It was a good night.

The Best

There is only one thing that I think rivals having sex in the morning and that is a hot mug mocha java. HAHAHA

The bitch is coming

Tropical storm Fay, as it swept over Haiti and Cuba and took 35 lives in the Caribean, is about to bear down on south Florida.

Last year at this time, I was planning my vacation to Florida. I flew at the end of hurricane season. On my last full day there, I experienced an afternoon shower as I drove from St. Augustine back to West Palm Beach. It was freaky how fast it developed and there was nothing I could do but to keep driving through it or just pull off to the side of the road and wait.

Experience

***Experience is a wonderful thing.***
***It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.***

Match.com is supposed to be a way to meet someone special that you may not be able to come across in your daily life. You hope they are nice, productive members of society and are able to function in the general population without too much drama and intervention by paid professionals AKA police, parole officer, alcohol and drug rehabilitation, doctors, lawyers, your local mental health provider, etc, etc. You get the picture. The best case scenario is that you actually find someone with some things in common and can talk to them without having to hang up the phone in utter disgust in the middle of a sentence or break out in laughter at the sheer stupidity coming from there mouth through the phone lines and directly into your brain.

So a man found the nerve to contact me about the ad I posted on Match.com. We've been talking and Friday night is our first date. Wish me luck.

Fix it - NOW!

I really must be putting out some sort of weird vibe because earilier in the day, the contractors for the securty system at work came and I get this 'respect small women' speech. You see, I complained to my PM's manager that the security contractor has been dicking around seeming like they do not know what the hell they are doing and not completing the job in a timly fashion. Then all of the sudden I get an email from the guy telling me the security contractors are coming out and it will be finished -today-.(That was Tuesday.) O.K. Sounds good to me and then come to find out the part they knew they need weeks ago they didn't bother to order until this past Monday. I said look, You need to get this part and install it because my employer has been out to CA three times in the last three months and you're still not done. This really needs to be finished by Friday because they are going to be out here again next week.

So the friendly guy and another guy some out from the security contractor and fix what they were supposed to and now I can include that on my report to my employer. YEAH!

Communication or My Dick is Bigger Than Yours

I have a co-worker that constantly feels the need to communicate the fact that he has shared experiences and emotions in life. If he were a woman, I don't think I'd feel the need to even bring the fact up, but because he's a man, I feel challenged. I feel like I'm living in this "my dick is bigger than yours" contest when he's present. I think it all boils down to his social anxiety vs. my tendency to be anti-social.

It's not unlike that character on SNL that comes into social situations and when she opens her mouth, a more grandiose example of her story relating to the previous one in conversation always spews forth. It's funny, in a way, because he's got nothing on me in the way of my level of experience on this job, and yet nothing to prove by doing what he does other than to build a working relationship with me, and yet I can say roughly 90% of what comes up in conversation is not about work.

So I sit and I listen as a good manager should trying be polite and to look past the fact that a lot of what goes on in his life that he complains about is brought on by his own personality.

So Cool

My new car is so cool, it calculates the miles per gallon for me. Lately, I've been getting 22mpg - from a mid-sized SUV! I don't think my 2005 Equinox was getting mileage as good as that.

Reagan? Why??

I'm at work monitoring the electrical contractor and asked a question about the location of an exit sign he's installing. I recognize the fact that the space surely needs an exit sign, but I'm unfamiliar with the idea of placing it on the outside of a steel filing system.

He gives examples of other work in the building. Then, out of the blue, he tells me about how he does done a lot of work at the Ronald Reagan Library in Simi Valley and how they have lots of orange trees planted on the property. Nancy Reagan, every time she would go on trips flying in Air Force One, she would take an orange and roll it down the isle of the plane.

What this has to do with exit signs in my file room is beyond me. Why do people feel the need to talk to me like this?

This is sad

This is sad, but it's not about me. I watched a documentary entitled "Autism Every Day" over the weekend on the Sundance Channel or IFC. Anyway, what it did was briefly showed a snapshot of these children born with autism, their family, level of disability and how the parents coped with the daily struggles. It also asked some pretty hard questions like, where did this come from and why if 1 out of 166 kids are affected by autism, it's not considered a national epidemic.

This is sad to think, but the women's liberation movement and in some way the invention of birth control pill brought on this wave, this higher than "normal" statistics for autism. The need for women to be treated equal in the work place, to strive in their own goals for themselves outside of the home and then after college and then after working for some time they want to have children after age 24, which is the peak time to have a child for a woman, is what brought this wave mental illness.

How does this tie into me? Once again, I put up an ad again on Match.com with the hopes of finding a soul mate, but more over any suitable mate because being single bored and lonely is getting old. I'm 42 and I had my son at 21. I do no want to start another family, mainly for my own health concerns, but moreover because I do not want to bare a child with mental developmental difficulties or be almost 60 when they graduate from high school. My golden years financing a college student is not in my future plans. And yet, I see all these men who now in their 40's want to start the family they put off having while they pursued their goals and dreams.

Never in the land of the free and the home of the brave have an age limit to having children, licenses for the birth of a child and genetic testing seemed so meaningful to me. Otherwise, eventually as this tragity progresses as it will, autistic children will become lifetime wards of the state.

What Chemistry.com said about me

"You are a BUILDER/director

You are an executive. You are consistent, reliable, thorough and persevering. You can also be socially charming. So you are good at managing others at home, in your social circles and at work.

You are efficient too. You have high standards and take your duties seriously, focusing carefully on your assignments with sensible and concrete thinking.

You are somewhat traditional. You like people and are generally comfortable with them. You work hard to build and support your family and social networks. You are very protective of those you love.

You respect schedules, rules and routines. Appropriate behavior is generally important to you. Yet you have a streak of the independent thinker in you. As a result, you have a good balance between conventionality and originality.

You are also a good leader. You acquire the perks and status of rank more easily than most. And you handle your possessions gracefully. You also enjoy time alone, pursuing your personal interests."

Oh yeah, and all this was BEFORE I took the contractor position with BearingPoint. Ha ha ha. But to me, it sounds more like a personality profile to base a career upon, not like terms you'd look for in a relationship. What the hell??

Mobsters!

MySpace finally got with the program and developed apps to add to their online experience.

So the other day, my online friend Bill the Drummer from The Night Creatures invites me to join his mob on the Mobsters app. Sure, O.K., Bill's a cool guy, so sure, no sweat, I'll join in.

It's some type of RPG with a Mob theme. Today is the first time I've played it. Bill sent me a link to read - thank you, but on my own, I think I'm doing O.K. so far. I've used all my energy, but if you hangout on the app, you earn energy back. I've got a crowbar and a .38 special and $4329 in cash after 6 missions, as well as 12 experience points.

www.thebadseed.net

Don't feed the monkey in the cage

For breakfast, I ate banana today in my yogurt cup and now I wish I didn't. I'm walking around the office with a case of gasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Stop the free ride NOW and shut the door.

DID YOU KNOW??
Nearly two-thirds of all immigrants in 2003 settled in six states: California, New York, Florida, Texas, New Jersey, and Illinois. Immigrants tend to be more geographically concentrated than the rest of the population. In addition, they tend to settle in metropolitan areas. The top destination cities for immigrants in 2003 were the nation’s largest cities, like New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Washington, D.C., Miami, and Houston.

1. Did you know non-citizens of the USA are eligible for Pell Grants?
Your tax dollars hard at work to educate someone who very possibly may take that education you paid for with them and return to their country.

Result: brain drain and less funding available for US citizens.

The Fix: USA citizens are only eligible for government grants and loans.

2. Everyone who comes to an emergency room gets treatment whether they can pay or not - no exceptions.

Result: Equates to free medical and the current healthcare crisis.

The Fix: Everyone pays for health care on a sliding scale based on your income tax returns. Those who don't pay income tax, have the US government pay and the US government gets reimbursed from the home country of the non-US citizen.

3. Non-citizens go to public schools for free.

Result: poor test scores
teachers that can't teach unless they know the language
less funds for schools, teacher lay-offs
over crowded schools

The Fix: Instead, they should pay for the privelege to go to school here since illegals don't pay income tax. They should go to private schools to learn english and stop dragging down the test scores of the kids that already know the language. They should be forced to become citizens as well as their parents 5 years, or be deported to their home country.

4. Current Problem: If a US citizen and a non-US citizen bore a child within the United States, that child becomes a US citizen automatically and is considered an 'anchor child' which ties a non-US citizen to the child and makes them elligible to stay in the country.

Result: People who may not be elligible for citizenship on thier own due to disease or criminal history get a free ride on the road to citizenship.

The Fix: Only, two US citizens as parents only bore US citizens. One US citizen and one non-citizen bore a 'qualified for citizenship' child, but both the non-citizen parent and the 'qualified for citizenship' child must immigrate within 2 years, or be deported to their home country.

5. Current Problem: adopting a child in a foreign country results in instant citizenship for that child upon entering the USA with the US citizen parent.

Same problem as 4 except this is an 'anchor parent' situation.

The Fix: the non-citizen adopted child must immigrate within 2 years, or be deported to their home country.

SECURE OUR BORDERS AND STOP THE FREE RIDE NOW!

That's Hot

A 700 HP electric car? Is this for real?

See article: Lightening GT

Oh, drool. Just gorgeous. *This* model would definitely make you want to drive an electric car.

When life gives you lemons...

So previously on July 23rd, I had written about being in an auto accident on my way home from work. This event actually totalled my blue 2005 Chevy Equinox LT, so said my insurance company. O.K., I can live with that. I'm not so emotionally invested nor attached to my vehicles like some people that I cannot get over the loss quickly. I mean, it's just a car! So on Saturday morning, I went out to breakfast with my son and then headed over to the body shop and gave the blue beast a final once over to make sure all personal belongings were removed and retrieve my GPS mount from the dashboard. I brought my dad's old pocketknife to pry it off. After, it felt kinda weird because I did not have to sign anything to release it. All it took was my verbal O.K. acknowledging that the insurance company was going to pick it up.

The bigger issue here is now I have no transportation other than the rental and I really, really dislike the rental. It's a Chevy Cobalt, it sucks gas worse than the Equinox I'm used to and since it could be considered a small or even possibly a compact sedan, it feels like I'm sitting in a hole in order to drive it. Yuck. It makes me nervous driving the Cobalt on the freeway with all the big trucks I eventually get stuck driving around after having been rear ended by a large Ford work van. So what to do about a new ride?

Well, since I was still paying payments to GMAC, I carried comprehensive and collision insurance, which is good for me in this situation. I still owed about 7k and with the settlement, that gives me around 8k to put down on a new vehicle. I'm glad this portion of the process is over because it was worrying me that I really didn't know what money I was going to get as a settlement. I was able to talk to the total loss agent on Friday, and we went over the numbers then. I was happy with the settlement amount and was told the papers for me to sign are in the mail. Now lets get to the car shopping!

GMBuyPower.com has never failed to provide me all the details I needed to have choices and make an informed decision about buying a new car. I was able to locate a used 2007 LS model that appealed to me in Huntington Beach. I emailed the dealer and they called me back to discuss some of the features for the car I was interested in. I was able to ascertain from the Carfax report online it was a previous rental and the mileage. But you never really know the features nor the condition until you checkout the vehicle yourself. I went to the dealer on Saturday after I cleaned out the blue beast.

So to make a long story short, my hunches were correct. The vehicle was immaculate, and everything else was in order. They had lowered the price recently, and I thought it was fair for an almost 2 year old model, so about an hour later, I was the proud owner of the actual car below. Nice, ehy?

Yes, it's not the blue, I know, but it's 2 years newer and about 20k less in mileage, and drives just as nice as my old one, so was very happy to locate this as quickly as I did.

Upgrades to my previous ride include: leather interior, heated front seats, OnStar, integrated XM Radio, speed compensated speed volume, mp3 cd player, audio on the steering wheel, cruise control on the steering wheel, remote start, wood grain console, an improved driver information center, electronically monitored tire pressure, 17 inch chrome wheels, flip down arm rest with cup holders in the back seat and an aux plug for my IPOD! woohoo!

Photos from my Cell Phone

Self potrait at 5AM on July 1st. Happy smile on my face before even the birds woke up on that day. Sicko. My hair is even longer now, even though I got it cut after this photo was taken.(see 'Venice' blog entry.)

Desk fodder at 7AM on August 1st. Apple fritter from Donut Time, drinking green tea in my Nessie mug direct from Scotland, scratchers for $6, but I won SQUAT! Grrr.

Not in photo: me stressing out over calling the total loss department at Mercury Insurance after they left a voicemail on my home phone yesterday.