The day before Mother's Day...

The day before Mother's Day I decided it was a nice enough day outside to do some spring cleaning work on the patio.

All of this winter's rain brought weeds that were once bird seed and the potted plants (French lavender, rosemary, heirloom tomato) and sage all died except for the cactus. The chinka cherry tomato reseeded itself into a planting box where it has never been before and that turned into weedy looking bush that I think I've cut down at least three times since December.

Tomatoes being nightshade have reseeded in one of the older bed sites. I'm going to try and move it after I get some new potting soil tomorrow.

But after a dinner of tilapia and jasmine rice, and as I'm watching "Dead to Me" and "Wine Country" on Netflix while perusing Facebook, my cousin sends me this text on messenger that she's got stage 4 pancreas and intestinal cancer and that she's moving back home to live with her brother. And the first thing that runs through my mind is our family doesn't have cancer and it's gotta be the italian side of her family. So sad. Someone at work died of stomach cancer.

Death of my friends and family is going to come faster now that I'm turning 53. The first one was an accidental death of two former co-workers along the 55 freeway the last time I went on vacation. I went to the funeral, but couldn't bring myself to speak. Next weekend, there is another for a woman that worked in another department, but her husband works for me.

May 6th, 2019 Day Dreaming

I woke up from a 30-minute power nap and in that between space between sleeping and being fully awake, I saw something in my minds eye. I saw a group of people, teenagers, kids, young adults, mulling about in an office space and they were all wearing these black winter coats with hoods and with a little black rectangle patch on the arm that said 360(degree symbol). And I kept looking around to this group asking, "Do you speak English?" and "Do you know English?" There was one large, tall man in a blue or black business jacket standing, hovering over them with kinda short curly black hair a small mustache and a flat football player looking face, little expression. Maybe he was Security and standing by the double doors? And then I said, " You need to go to the mall."

I have no idea where this dream came from other than the fact that I've been looking for another job on the usajobs.gov website and one of the security guards told me to apply to an office that is no where near where I currently live.