When the world bites back.

OK, I think it was Wednesday when I got that bug bite on my right index finder. On the middle digit, it was red and only itched slightly.

Then Thursday morning comes along and we were looking at an entirely different ballgame. The itchiness of my finger was super intense and swelled up on the second and first digit almost to the knuckle. I drenched it under cold water after feeding my old cat and then I took my normal hot morning shower and it exploded with itchiness and pain. I gave myself what amounts to a Indian burn, gripping that right index finder and twisting it with my left hand back and forth until the itchiness subsided. Went to work, ran it under some cold water in the women's restroom longer than it would normally take for me to wash my hands for the times I had to go relieve myself and got through the way without too much distress. Came home and found mt Cortizone 10 cream and found it was not expired (yeah) slathered that right index finger with the cream and kind of babied it for the rest of the night.

Friday morning, I had swelling from the nailbed into the knuckle of the right index finger. The mid joint was so swollen front and back, I could not bend the finder without a considerable amount of pain. I decided this bug bite issue was getting worse, not better, so I better go to a walk-in clinic to see if they can help this situation along so we can IP it in the bud and to have it progress into something much worse. I read on the internet trying to look for answers that it could become infected, turn into sepsis/death. From a bug bite. I'm not having that.

So I was released from work two hours early on Friday due to the Labor Day Holiday weekend and I drove my sorry ass to the UCI Health Center where Dr Nguyen is (who takes Aetna-my health ins), but some to find out UCI Health does not so going to be seen there is considered "Out of Network" which made me mad, but at that point I just wanted to be seen. Which I was by a nurse practitioner. This place since it opened has been my go-to for care. They asked a lot of questions including ones about my mental health at which I'm still kind of creeped out about, but that's what they have to do these days. And then here's the new info that I really never thought of before. I has described what the bug bite looked like and progressed to and she examined what it looked like at the office, and she told me to take pictures of the affected area to ensure that it's getting better and not worse. She tried to prescribed predisone and I was oh no no, that makes me psychotic, I had it before when I has my last surgery for illitius and I had to stop using it because of the side effects, please something else. So she then prescribed keflex and a couple of different antihistamines and topical cortisone 2.5 cream ( my son called it "the good stuff" ) and I was sent on my way.

I went home, took a nap, and by that time after I had to reset my password for the CVS app, I found out that the prescriptions were ready for me to pick-up. No text. Grr. And I needed gas in my car, so I went to the new gas pumps at the little Costso in Tustin and they were busy busy busy on the Friday night before the big three-day holiday weekend. That fucking exit after you pump is an accident waiting to happen. They need to change that. And then made my way out of the Tustin Marketplace and drove on the 5 Freeway because going south was not stop and go mess like the northbound 5 was and got off two exits later at Jeffery. My preferred CVS is at Jeffery x Alton in Irvine.

I had to push the customer service button in order to buy non-drowsey claritin which was suggested by the doctor to help stop the histamine reaction in my body that's irritating the bug bite site. So I bought a 24 pack of that and found a bottle of my vitamins and bought those too and then I headed to the pharmacy counter to get my three prescriptions... the creme, the keflex and the other antihistimine that is so strong I was told it's going to make me drowsey and that I cannot drive using it which make me think I should maybe just take that one at night time.

So here we are. It's Saturday morning. I have taken my second dose of Keflex and just burnt my right thumb a little putting foil over the potatoes I just took out of the oven and I swear all of this jibber jabber was leading up to the photo of what my bug bitten index finger looks like this morning, 09/03/2022 at about 8AM. The skin is still red, the knuckle is swollen to the point where I cannot make a fist, but overall it's not as swollen and irritated as it was yesterday when I went to the doctor.

https://photos.app.goo.gl/rBChhXTTrMCATpAM6

https://photos.app.goo.gl/rBChhXTTrMCATpAM6 

Today is the Best Day

So along with the new job, I got new (better than Kaiser?) health insurance with Cigna and with encouragement from my new UCI doctor, I went and got a mammogram for the first time in a long time. That was October 12th. And they found the same spot as before and wanted to do more tests. I scheduled the tests before leaving the office that day not knowing if they would be able to locate my prior images.

This morning before heading off to work in the dark trying to beat the sunrise like a vampire, I talked to my grandma and grandpa's photo I placed next to my bed with some pebbles I painted. I said, " With the power of my grandma and grandpa, I know everything's gonna be all right." So I was scheduled to do those extra tests today, October 20th. 

This morning, I was starting the internal mental freakout self talk that nobody needs to hear themselves do. But the crux of it was, and what if it is cancer? Ok, so freaked out, I left my cellphone on the coffee table. The weight of the coins in my change purse made it seem as though it was there, but it wasn't.

I took a half-day off work for these tests. As I was walking to my car to go home for lunch, I felt the ever so slight feeling of nausea gently blow on me like a soft breeze, and then it was gone by the time I got to my car.

So I get home, and find the cell, plug it in to get a good charge and getting ready to go, I check the messages, and I get the alls clear. No extra tests. They found the prior images and compared the one's taken on October 12th and I do not have to take the extra tests today. And it was a relief.

Turning Left or Right?

Driving towards Los Angeles, if you take the 22 West exit with the intention of going into Long Beach near Alamitos Bay, the first exit is Studebaker to the right and then you turn left. At the end of Studebaker, you come to 2nd Street. You can't drive forward anymore because there is no more road. It's a fenced-off field of scrub, weeds and random palm trees next to the San Gabriel River Wash that leads out to the Pacific. In order to continue your trip, you have to make a decision: turn left or right.

And I find this is kind of a parallel story to what my life is like right now. I worked in finance and in the mortgage industry. I  took a road that was different, working in the file room as a contractor/Supervisor for a year and a half at USCIS, but it was at the end of that organization's five- year contract, really due to no fault of my own and just shear decisions to retain those with the more tenure, I came to its intersection in the last week of  November of last year when I was laid off for a brief moment.  I have to think that it was my boss that saved me from the unemployment rolls temporarily for another 6 months due to others retiring and moving on to other more permanent roles at USCIS in Adjudication, Naturalization, and Asylum. (And I'm not convinced in the least that his subordinate was enthused about any of these changes/decisions in the least. Which is an entirely another discussion I won't get into now.) I thought I was going to go drive down a different road turning left or right which I was OK with, but I  also came to terms with the fact that I knew my health was paramount, so work gave me this shitty narrow path with a significant pay cut and what I find out now is crappier health insurance coverage (worse than I even had when I paid for it myself on the CA Healthcare Exchange) to keep traveling on their path. Don't think that I'm not grateful, I am, I just don't like what I've become at this point and I have no control over it. My boss does. Until the end of the contract or until I get a better job, whichever comes first.

It's the beginning of March and I want this to be over on my terms and not be laid off on May 2nd. I've been applying to jobs that pay more than what I'm earning now just to have the satisfaction and be able to say that," I'll be O.K... my new job pays more than this place", and to build up my self-confidence knowing that I've made changes mid-career and have come back from being jobless before and I can do it again.

At this point in my life though, I'm fairly cynical and retrospective about work which doesn't really help and the economy is one that has tamped down on hourly wages hard. I've sat on the other side of that hiring desk trying to figure out how well that candidate can fill the role. Do you pick someone with a degree who had never did the role before and train or do you hire someone with experience and pay for it? The decision is out of my hands.

And I'm wary about recruiters. The last time I got involved with one of those,  I took a job in Simi Valley as a federal contractor to Fannie Mae right after Countrywide defaulted and Bank of America was buying them but not before the credit crunch of Oct '08. It was a strange time to be where I was and watch it all happen.

I've been contacted by no less than three recruiters. None of the first two seem sustaining. The third one is intriguing, but can I make that hard left turn and continue on?

My Medical Insurance Evolution

My Medical Insurance Evolution

Due to the progression of Crohn's disease, since my 2000 resection surgery, once a month I must get a B12 injection. It's good yet interesting that I really don't get sick all that much except for having to deal with the effects of Crohn's if I eat something that doesn't agree with my guts.

1) Kaiser was great until my employer decided it was too expensive for them. I paid a monthly premium so I could pay $8 a shot I could administer myself at home.

2) Then my employer changed insurers and I went to a different PCP of my choice who accepted my insurance near my home. And I didn't have to pay anything for my monthly injection, but had to come into the office to get it. I had a co-pay if I was seen for anything else.

3) After that, I paid an office visit fee because I changed jobs and my medical insurance had not kicked in yet. $69 for the office visit to obtain the same injection. I was thankful to my doctor.

4) Then I quit that job and went on COBRA. That was $500 a month, but all I used it for was the same B12 injection. With the same doctor that previously charged me $69 for the same injection.

5) Then I became an independent contractor. I was mad and worried having to pay so much for so little during a time when I was starting my own business and I decided to concentrate on getting my Crohn's more under control since I had more time at home. As I did this, ObamaCare came into play. My COBRA ran out at the end of 2016 and I found a plan with Kaiser for $185 a month premium based upon my new income bracket. I don't have to pay for the B12 injections if I use the nurse's clinic, but blood tests are now something new I have to pay a co-pay for. And I have a co-pay if I need to see my doctor for anything

6) Now I'm worried again that my government reps may change the mandated medical insurance plan and I'll get kicked off  because Kaiser won't have to cover me anymore under the discounted plan I currently can afford.