Sadomasochistic. I dated a man recently who exhibited this trait but was in denial it was what it was and I had to stop because his style of sexual talk creeped me out to the point where it left me feeling paranoid instead of an object of his love and affection. I thought that there wasn't enough trust and too much risk involved to my personal safety that I could bear and I couldn't allow that line to be crossed. After numerous sessions of hours of verbal foreplay and continual miscommunication about meeting up over a two month period, my hope for any type of healthy relationship with him died. His choice of verbiage was frequently repulsive and violent.
The three dates we had in the beginning were normal, nice and fine. But after that, I felt an increasing amount of pressure from him to hide the fact that we were involved and I won't be put into that situation. I'm a 43 year old grown woman and I see no need to "sneak around." I just don't feel the need to be devious. Life is too short. But now knowing what he has to hide, if I were him, I wouldn't want my kids to know either. Treating women like he wants to is not a lesson I'd be proud to pass down from father to son.
I feel sorry for any woman who gets into a dominating relationship such as he desires. Sadly, I wouldn't be surprised to hear his name on the evening news one day as a rape suspect. And he picked 'me' from am online dating website. Knowing that these kinds of men would maybe target me has shaken my confidence in dating....and he called *me* quirky.
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