Hell on Earth? Almost.

It took me three and a half hours to get home from work on a Friday night. And it wasn't even a three day holiday weekend either. That is obscene. It was as if every stupid slow driving mofo was on the freeway infront of me.

It also didn't help that I started drinking a Welch's Strawberry soda at the time I left work so that by the time I went through the east LA interchange, I had to take a piss. And when you gotta pee, you gotta pee, so I had to then get off of the freeway to do so.

The Indiana Avenue exit off of the 5 freeway traveling south doesn't dump you into the nicest part of town, let me tell you. Before I even got to turn right, there was a cop car sitting on the corner. At the corner of Indiana and Olympic, I found paramedics and firemen were eatting at a mexican restaurant. I thought if I have to take a piss anywhere in East Los Angeles, atleast I'd be safe there. I pulled into the parking lot at the back of the restaurant and there was barely no one parked there, but when I went inside looking for the restrooms, most people were either at the counter or eatting already. LA's finest were seated waiting for their food. One got up and tip his forehead toward me. Thanks, guy, but I needed to take a piss---bad. Now where are those restrooms??

I went back to my car and found a steel security door with an 'add a quarter' access lock and recognized that this must be the toilet. I put my coin into the slot and turned the handle and this idiot woman yelled at me - she did not even lock the door behind her after she went into the can, Jesus lady, I'm sorry, I'm sorry - hurry up, I gotta pee.

About 2 minutes later she emerges with the roll of brown generic one-ply toilet paper in her right hand waving it around in the air and said, "I gotta return this to the front counter because I don't want to be held responsible for loosing it by giving it to you." I don't care, get out of my way. I had paper in my purse which I took into that graffitied shrine of a toilet, I didn't care.

Two minutes later for me and I was back on my way home.