He pushed me aside before he pushed me aside.

I went on a date Thursday night right after work with a man who, in hindsight, if I knew the details of his life, such as his impending divorce (red flag) and difficult child custody schedule (red flag) or health issues, I would of never went out with him in the first place. Bad move #1 was he manhandled me to order his smoothie (red flag). No, I take that back. It was when he sent me a text me saying, "If you still want to meet with me, let me know." (red flag). More shocking to my senses was that he was a highly educated man too ashamed to admit his own reality unless I questioned him on it (red flag) and then I got an earful for two hours (red flag). I emailed him telling him, "I think you're looking for someone to talk to" I mean, especially since he said he wasn't looking for sex immediately and then he replies back he's not looking for someone to talk to (red flag). Whatever. Seems to me he doesn't know what he wants but it surely wasn't me. Next...

CA Supreme Courts uphold Prop. 8 Banning Same Sex Marriage

Read: CA Supreme Courts uphold Prop. 8 banning same sex marriage

My feelings stir when I heard about proposition this initially. I am a single mother of a 21 years old son. Even after all this time and the fact that I never married my son's father, it bothers me that same-sex relationships want the same rights as I have. Their situations are not the same and will never be.

Marriages were registered and regulated by the government for the social welfare of women and their natural born children. Outside of marriage, paternity existed to prove a man's relation to a child and named him at least a financially responsible party, as well as rules were established for inbreeding so that retardation and birth defects would be prevented. Without these, women and children became financial burdens upon society and had the ability to draw welfare payments from the government. And that was me. After being neglected then beat-up, once I was not living under the same roof as my boyfriend... the father of my child, I filed for welfare in order to take care of us. My son was 10 weeks old, paternity was established and I continued to collect a check until I was able to earn enough to support the both of us, which happened as he entered school. In a time when it was expected for women to take care of their family and not work at all, financial responsibility was crucial to the survival of family unit, even if it was a one parent home.

In the state of California, where civil union is recognized, where a third party must be utilized to bare children with at least one parents genes and adoption is carried out in this regard or to adopt a child outside of the relationship all together, why do same-sex relationships demand the equal availability to marriage? It's not about the right to bare legitimate children because that only can occur in a monogamous heterosexual relationship. It's only about the sentimental value of the ceremony itself and you can't go through the ceremony without a marriage license. Merriam-Webster's definition of family is (2a) a group of persons of common ancestry: clan. You marry, you consumate, then procreate. I tend to agree.

The Social Persona Test

Your result for The Social Persona Test (What kind of man/woman are you?)...

The Rarity (QTAF)

Quirky Traditional Alpha Female

You have an unusual and unbelievably precious combination of traits, especially in a woman. Not only are alpha females extremely rare, but traditional ones with nerdy/geeky interests are even more scarce. Unlike the other types, I can't give you a description because I'm not sure if you actually exist.

PS: I know this is not a compatibility test, but there is a very good chance you are the girl of my dreams. Not to sound desperate or anything, but please, oh please message me! (Assuming, that is, that you are between 20 and 30 and live in New England).

--Bookwyrm85

You are more QUIRKY than NORMAL.

You are more TRADITIONAL than LIBERAL.

You are more DOMINANT than PASSIVE.

When picking a date, consider: Lord of the Misfits (QLAM), The Late Bloomer (QTAM), The Snowball's Chance in Hell (QTBM), or The Manga Geek (QLBM).

(Image from http://folk.uio.no/thomas/lists/amazon-connection.html)

Take The Social Persona Test (What kind of man/woman are you?) at HelloQuizzy

A Memorial Weekend

It's 6-something in the morning on Sunday and I was up before the dawn watering my tomato plant which looks successful up to this point, checking the cat water and food and brushing my teeth. I am sick of my clutter which I am coming to find out is so much less than what it could be compared to what other people's ideas of what clutter is but yet unacceptable to me because it's an in-my-face example of disorganization and I don't consider myself to be a disorganized person. I usually have things put in their special place so I can find them again and my clutter breaks that trend and creates a certain amount of havoc and frustration in my life. Once, I was trying to cope with my clutter by saying I was out growing my condo since I have lived here for ten years as of March. Once even, I tried to justify that I was just too tired to deal with it due to me dealing with a cronic disease let alone my daily grid. But after watching an episode of Clean House from St. Louis, I felt like, yeah, I could kind of relate as well as agree to the fact that I'll do things to make myself feel good and not necessarily the things that need to be done because they are not fun and considered chores. And so my slightly cluttered ways continue to a degree.

I'd decided that I need to locate my paperwork from the last time I put together a loan submission package while applying for a refi and I need to locate my notary certificate. I think these documents are located within two plastic gray trays of assorted clutter that at one time landed on my desk, but now that the desk has been changed and organized, have been relocated into my gray trays. These gray trays were once considered under the bed storage when I first moved into my condo. They are actually trays from Smart and Final like the ones bus boys use to clear your table after having eaten in a restaurant. They were cheaper than plastic bins specially made to be under the bed storage and I'll go cheap if it's functional so that's why I bought them. I think there are 6-8 floating around in various areas of my condo, but for the most part I believe they have been retired to the right corner stacked up in the bottom of my closet waiting to be utilised again.

I am determined to create a save or throw pile comprised of the things in my two clutter bins before I go and read the newspaper this morning. I don't actually read the entire paper. I don't think anyone does these days. I rather skim for what I find as interesting and then read that article and then continue skimming again to the next subject that sparks my mind. I love to go through the ads. I think it's for the color but moreover to find a bargain. I love the Target ads, even though we know that Walmart has better prices and for this reason, rarely produces a paper ad.

I'm procrastinating now about going through the rest of the bins since I have found my loan submission package and have calculated my interest rate change. I'm looking forward to the rate drop as I have a hybrid note that I don't even think they offer anymore and will adjust to be lower than my start rate, or so I hope. Now on to locate that certificate.

I barbecued hamburgers yesterday which came out excellent. I also made homemade salsa as well. Yum. Even though I went to Sprouts and Ralph's and spent $95, I need to go to the grocery store again because my pantry has been depleted and I need cereal and milk.

My neighbors are entirely too noisy for this time of day.

A Dangerous New Trend... Mom Blogs

Mom blogs. The conception of a new blogging experience, I feel, should never coincide with childbirth. Sure, you'll gain a lifetime of experience, especially with you're first child... your so-called practice child. This is the child that will prove to you you've made the right decision by choosing to have offspring -or- create more havoc in your life than you ever provided your own parents and then make you second guess why you bothered to have children in the first place.

I believe a mom for the first five years should dedicate her life to the raising of that child and I think blogging gets in the way of that. It can be time consuming and reveal things like how you actually ignore your child instead of dealing with the problems at hand. Generally speaking, you're pretty exhausted from the lack of sleep and you need to be awake when your baby is awake for feedings, changing and bathing. How you're going to get all that done and housework, too, while blogging is beyond me. Maybe you have a Nanny. Who knows.

I don't know about you, but it took me 11 days just to leave the house for the first time with my son and then I only went to visit his great-grandparents. The baby wanted to sleep, I wanted to sleep, so it was a good time to sleep. I bonded with him by having him sleeping on my chest. That tiny little guy was a long as my thigh bone when I took him home. Now he's taller than me at 5'6". But I digress.

More later...

Medical Runners

I found an article this morning that went along with the NPR story I heard about how President Obama and Congress are working out the plan for universal health care for all.

Read: Report: Senators mull 3 health-insurance plans

I know that when you seek any kind of medical treatment, you have to consent to it. What I don't understand is these people in New York state that go to the ER, get seen and then refuse treatment because they start to think about the bill. In California, we don't worry about the bill so much because we know everyone will be treated in the ER regardless of your ability to pay or not. Anyway, here is the link to the article.

Read: Too broke for the ER, patients flee

3AM Cat Dance

As I was going through last weekends newspaper, this idea popped into my mind that people should take a queue from nature and be more like their pets. Take my cat, for example. Girlie decided 3AM was the appropriate time to wake up. She danced around on my bed, nuzzled with me for awhile, then got up and got a drink of water. She straightened up up the fur left ruffled after I scratched her little. She then went out side, went to the bathroom and did some stretches. After letting me know she wanted to come back inside, she got a snack and went back to bed.

I wasn't even half as productive as my cat was this morning. I couldn't sleep anymore after my cat woke me up dancing all mover me and my bed so I turned on the TV and watched some news. I figured out what I wanted to wear today and then put some laundry away. I located my shoes and last weekends newspaper I didn't find the time to go through and took out all of the coupon sections and the target flyer because I love Target. I also browsed the Pacific Sales flyer for ideas and deals. As well as looked at what stuff Fry's was selling on the back of the sports section that I probably don't need all that much.I also segregated out the Parade because I like my information delivered to me in little bits and pieces so this mag suites me fine in that respect. I somehow managed to make my self a bowl of oatmeal in the microwave and eat that, but it was so early in the morning, I don't remember where.

And then I decided to re-use the bag from what covered last weekends newspaper instead of throwing away and make it into a kitty poo from the box holder. Cleaned that stinker out and knotted up the one end of the bag and now my dining area is much, much fresher smelling.

Now I know why I eat slow...

I always wondered why I ate so slow as compared to my mom or my friends. Maybe this is the answer. I'm a quarter French (Canadian) you know...

See: Sleeping and eating - the French do it best

Crazy Dream

My head was compositing things I saw and talked about into this crazy dream that woke me up feeling startled and abit bewildered.

Over the weekend, I was watching some TV show that profiled a man who was a scamming women out of thousands of dollars. He initially made contact with women through the online dating website called millionairematch.com. He had posted a photo from about 20 years ago to create interest in his looks, but ultimately what you got to meet in person was someone old, overweight, disheveled, jobless and homeless. He preyed on women to feed his gambling habit. The show had mentioned that he at one point while in Pennsylvania left a duffle bag with some of his belongings in a park that he was sleeping in.

Similarly, yesterday was also a day in which I had talked about my purse. You see, my purse was stolen from my home when it was burglarized a few years ago and all of my keys were inside my purse at the time. I was talking about my purse to my co-manager because yesterday I noticed that the strap on the purse I'm currently using was beginning to fray and I had mentioned that the purse I had before this one (the one that was stolen) was one I had bought from Stein Mart and was made of Spanish leather. It matched the leather coat I wore at the time and had white stitching and braided strap and chain links on it, too. I liked it a alot and I think it was the first purse that I ever bought that was over $100. Figures it would get stolen?? So anyway... on top of that, when I was online chatting with my new guy friend, I saw that an old 'boyfriend' (I say that in quotes because what do you call a man in your life for five years who is married to someone else? Asshole, bad news, cad, jerk, pig, fraud or the good old fashioned word adulterer? Pick one.) popped online for the first time since last August and I was agitated to say the least because I did not want to chat with him at all knowing what hell he can put women's lives through. I was so upset that I had mentioned this to a girlfriend who I was chatting with on line at the time and she simply said "ignore him". Her perspective got me to lighten up some, but not much.

My dream was in color and it was of me in a park, where kids were playing on a jungle gym in the sand but I didn't recognize them. I fell asleep in the park under a tree but still kind of in the sun, too, I don't know for how long. Later, the kids that were with me woke me up to go home. I couldn't find my purse. I looked for my purse in a panic underneath a jacket or a blanket, then I stood up and looked for my car (again one I didn't recognize... some small gray four door) and I couldn't see it where I parked it. One of the kids said Ochoa put my purse in a locker. I didn't know who this Ochoa person was nor where the locker was located. And in that panic, I started to walk toward a school? made of red brick with the kids. Most likely, I woke up in a jolt startled and feeling panicky about the dream.

I tried to make sense of the dream, like I am now writing it down, but in my head while I tried to get some more rest. I had woken up at 3:30 AM and that is too early for me to do so. My alarm goes off at 4:45 AM each morning for work.

Stalkers

Now that I know for a fact that there are men who are stalking me by reading my blog, I've made the damn thing 'invite only'. Oh, they say they are checking up on me, but it just feels creepy - even from a distance.