I am vaccinated. 4/5/2021

Just as soon as I could find an appointment convenient to my work schedule, I got vaccinated. Thank you CVS. Your app is wonderful! Your remote check-in process in the store works! I was feeling good when I left the store and even slept well.

I went to work the next day and typed a lot besides preparing 11 files. I had a banana and Bai for lunch. 1-2 cups of hot tea. When I got home, I made myself a ham and turkey sandwich on sourdough with mustard and pickles. And I had a large glass of sweet tea And then I laid down. I think I took a nap. I woke up later and tried to lay my head down again, but it felt like the room was spinning a bit. 

Now, if I can just get rid of this tingling feeling in my arms like I'm hyperventilating to go away. I don't know but maybe I had too much caffeine today.

I texted my friend to let her know I was vaccinated. It's been a tough year in self-isolation. I was out of work for over 5 months. Now, as of April, I've been working a steady full-time-permanent job for 8 months. I like the idea of working from home, but I also think it's scary. I think that having staff working from home takes more management interaction than the ones that come into the office every day. But that's just my opinion.

I'm concerned that, for a while at least, the covid vaccine will become an annual thing like getting the flu shot. I fear the immune-compromised will eventually fall by the wayside, get sick and die or get well and become a "long hauler" with lingering symptoms. Another drag on the American healthcare system that's already in a pitiful state. Again, just my opinion.

I had a Dream: March 31, 2021

 I had a dream...

 I was sitting at the end of a long communal dining table in a large dining room with another man. We were both dressed in chef's white smock tops. Did I win something to get there? Anyway, the chef (causian, brown hair and balding shiny bald head but with a happy to see you face).walks in and greets us and says something like I got my eye on you and then said something else sexist quickly that made me feel sort of uncomfortable like the three of us make some sort of sandwich. And I yelled woo! loudly and got up from where I was sitting and started walking to the left... toward the commercial kitchen door? I don't know. Then I woke up.

Dream Journal: 3/07/2021

This is not my memory, something I lived through during my lifetime. It's as though I'm looking through someone else's eyes experiencing these events. I had a dream about visiting a school friend's house around the Christmas season.

I don't know the timeline. It was after school. Maybe on a Friday night, and the father figure invited me to dinner. He was upset that a boy had pulled a knife or a shiff and told us or his daughter to stop seeing this boy and to aid in that process, both me and my friend were staying in.

Later I went to a store with my friend and her mother and little sister. Not sure what I bought, but the next day where ever I put my bag of bought stuff, it was gone. I think the mother took it. And I talking out loud to her trying to figure out what happened to have my stuff disappear while not trying to accuse the mother of stealing my stuff. She sat there playing a game with a small child with this shit-eating grin like I've got your stuff and you're not getting it back no matter what you say. The father figure was not in the room when the conversation was going on. There was someone else talking, another voice, saying about what "I" took from the mother, food, blah blah, which sounded like bullshit to me. And then something clicked in my head that they told me the friend's father was normal, but her mother was a psycho. And the startling realization of this fact woke me up.

It's 2021: Happy New Year!

Officially, we are in month 10 of the Corona Virus epidemic in California and the world's population is now waiting in line to get vaccinated. All we have to do is wait for our turn and this nightmare will be over right? 

Wrong.

You will still have to social distance to stop the spread. You will still have to wash your hands after everything you do in public. And you are supposed to stay home. If you can't, you wear a mask when out with other people and don't touch stuff like shopping carts unless you can wipe it off with a bleach wipe.

And then you might even have to get another shot in three months' time.

Personally, I knew, since I filed for unemployment benefits mid-March 2020 when they first were coming online in California, that they would run out in 6 months. September was my deadline. And due to my age and I knew it was going to be a struggle to find my next job. I started my job hunt during month 4 and I was lucky enough to get a job during month 5, so by the time September rolled around, I was already working.

But I work in finance, which is considered essential. I have to go into the office to process paperwork that gets sent out the next day, for the most part. If there were a way for me to be at home and perform the same job, I would.

But do I want to change jobs/roles? I don't know right now. And staying put and keeping my eyes and ears open I think is the smartest thing to do right now with so many people out of work.

New Years Eve, I worked 6 straight hours and then we were let out early. Typical for this company. They did the same thing for Thanksgiving and Christmas.

I spent my time mostly online watch Twitch or playing xbox. I did have a glass of wine. Cheers!

Everyone I know wanted to sprint to 2021 as quickly as possible and put 2020 behind them. All we want to do is get back to "normal", but what most don't understand or maybe don't want to face is the reality that nothing is going back to the way it was ever again. We will face plexiglass sneezeguards and face masks through 2021.

I used to work for Deutsche Bank...

I used to work for Deutsche Bank. My company was bought out/taken over by them and so my pension is based upon me being a legacy employee for the former company I worked for.

The news article below is not about my pension but the pensions of current employees.

Today, it is Jan 2, 2021, and as I was searching for my pension website because I was too lazy to go into the other room and find it, I happened to stumble on this news article that was written in 2017:

Deutsche Bank's secret generosity to its longest-serving staff

And dependant upon the value of the DB stock...

 ...if Deutsche's share price hits €23 in the first three weeks of 2021. 

Conversion of 10.90 USD to Euros is 8.98 Euros.

Do you think that their stock will almost triple in the next three weeks?

It's funny, unless you're a guy wearing one.

 https://www.pcmag.com/news/flaw-in-sex-toy-can-let-a-hacker-literally-lock-down-your-crotch

Today is the Best Day

So along with the new job, I got new (better than Kaiser?) health insurance with Cigna and with encouragement from my new UCI doctor, I went and got a mammogram for the first time in a long time. That was October 12th. And they found the same spot as before and wanted to do more tests. I scheduled the tests before leaving the office that day not knowing if they would be able to locate my prior images.

This morning before heading off to work in the dark trying to beat the sunrise like a vampire, I talked to my grandma and grandpa's photo I placed next to my bed with some pebbles I painted. I said, " With the power of my grandma and grandpa, I know everything's gonna be all right." So I was scheduled to do those extra tests today, October 20th. 

This morning, I was starting the internal mental freakout self talk that nobody needs to hear themselves do. But the crux of it was, and what if it is cancer? Ok, so freaked out, I left my cellphone on the coffee table. The weight of the coins in my change purse made it seem as though it was there, but it wasn't.

I took a half-day off work for these tests. As I was walking to my car to go home for lunch, I felt the ever so slight feeling of nausea gently blow on me like a soft breeze, and then it was gone by the time I got to my car.

So I get home, and find the cell, plug it in to get a good charge and getting ready to go, I check the messages, and I get the alls clear. No extra tests. They found the prior images and compared the one's taken on October 12th and I do not have to take the extra tests today. And it was a relief.

After 157 days self quarantined, I'm working in mortgage again... I got a job.

Working under a clerical contract as a supervisor for USCIS where there were people with 20, even 30+ years tenure more than me should have been a big, bright flashing neon sign that I wouldn't stay for long. I was a federal contractor there for two CAPS and three different employers and then the SCOSS contract flipped to new companies. Then I was hired back as a temp (in reserve for a supervisor position, but working for the senior analyst). I found another job before they gave me the boot at the 6-month mark.

And then Coronavirus struck. And they just started to implement the new seating arrangement when I quit on March 16th. And then my new employer said, "don't come in" and rescinded their offer.

I was out of work for a total of 157 days. It took me a month to get hired on at my new job. I started to look hard in July because I did not want to be without a job by the time my unemployment insurance ran out.

I'm working in a newly expanded post-closing department. The tasks are nothing new to me though and I'm getting to learn Encompass which seems to be a skill every employer is looking for these days. And the best part it's 5 miles away from home and it's a open schedule as long as I work 8 hours and get my work done.

Veterans Need to be on High Alert when Seeking VA Mortgage Loans

 

Many finance companies do a good job of providing accurate advertising that generates leads and can be developed into new business. However, the results below, even though well-intentioned, did not meet the criteria set forth by the CFPB.

This post consists of public information available on the websites of CFPB and BBB.

09/08/2020-I bought guitar stands/had a dream/nightmare.

I bought two guitar stands:

Yesterday was a day I cruised the Facebook Marketplace at work and while doing so, found two guitar stands like the ones I was looking for online to buy. $10 each was hard to beat. And the communication exchange with the seller was not perfect, but we got the deal done and then he gave me the address for the pick-up after (I get off of work) at 5PM. 

I wanted to know exactly where I was going for this trip after work, so I break out the google maps and see that the address is a brewery/bar. And I'm confused because I thought all of the bars were closed and my mind starts worrying about the worst things that can happen and wondering why this guy would ask me to meet him at a bar.

 As I'm walking to my car in the parking structure, for my personal safety in case this transaction goes down badly, I tell myself, self, I should text the address I'm going to for the pick-up to my son so he at least knows where I'm going if I don't make it home. He would have that address to give to the police. 

Anyway, the pick-up location is not that far away from work, so I'm able to take surface streets there. I get to the address and the parking is terrible on the street, so I opt to park in a private lot and dare the tow truck to come hook-up my rig and ferry it away. I'm trying to be a careful person and be concerned for my personal safety, so I only take my keys and the cash to pay for the purchase trying to avoid a purse snatching. I find the address and no one is waiting. He said he would be at home all day when I texted him, but low and behold, he's not home. 

I walk down this dead end street noticing that there seems to be cameras on every building (which is kind of creepy to me and whether they work or not, I don't know.) to find that there's an automatic gate at the back of a large apartment complex and so now I get what he was saying about controlled access to the complex was making sense. I text the Facebook Marketplace seller to find out that he's now at a buddy's house restringing a guitar and he has to text his girlfriend to get me the gear and meet me at the gate.

OK, so now I feel I can just wait without all most of the horrible fear scenarios that are swirling in my head by this time, but it still doesn't change the fact that I'm a woman standing by my self at the end of a dead end street waiting for god knows what to happen, but all I want is the guitar stands.

The exchange is made, no problem, and then I shuffle my ass to my car parked in that private lot with all the cameras as quickly as possible. I see a guy on his cellphone at the driveway entrance and if this is supposed to be security calling for the tow truck, buddy, you're out of luck. I'm on my way home with two guitar stands after a somewhat nerve-wracking experience.

I also had a dream/nightmare:

So the address that I was provided for the pick-up being at a brewery/bar was the trigger point for my head to spin numerous scenarios into overdrive. Then the dream/nightmare happened that night...

Would he meet me at the front of the bar; 

or in the bar;

would he buy me a drink and would the drink be laced with roofies;

if I take my purse with me would it be stolen;

when I wake up where would I be;

I don't remember how I get here;

where is here;

I can't seem to talk in clear sentences;

I'm in a room that is covered floor to ceiling in drapery fabric;

I think I put my purse down to hide it, but I don't remember. Maybe a guy slid it off of my shoulder?People keep coming in and checking on me, but I'm so drugged up, it's not a good scene. My head is not clear. Where am I and how did I get here? And how do I get away? Where is my purse? In the background I hear a party going on and music. A lady opens the door, steps one foot in the room smiles and holds out a drink for me. I drink it, the whole thing, quickly because I'm so thirsty from being in this room with all of the drapes, she shuts the door hard, and I have fallen to the floor drugged again and I black out.

This is my mind playing tricks on me, not reality and I have never in my life allowed myself to be so out of control and drunk/drugged like in the dream.

And then I wake up from the dream having slept poorly because my house is so hot being its the end of summer.