Old Bags

Sunday is a good time to wake up early and take a drive, which is what I did in order to be able to deliver my Christmas gifts to my mom who lives in El Cajon. Little did I know that my intended short visit would turn into a day long shopping spree with two crazy grandmas topped off with lunch at Red Lobster.

When my mom suggested breakfast at Pam's after I got to her house, I was less than thrilled since I was not at all hungry. I said I'd eat toast and tea, something simple and not too big. Before we got to go, the phone rang and it was my mom's BFF Rose calling to see what is going on with the shopping trip they had planned. Then all of the sudden, I was invited to join in and go to lunch with them. WTH, I thought... I've got nothing really else that needs to be done today. I volunteered to drive so that I would not have to be subjected to either of their decrepit vehicles let alone their 70-something driving skills ( I disguised it as a front door drop off benefit so they could walk less) and off my mom and I went to pick up Rose in Lakeside.

They wanted to go to .99 Cent Store, Trader Joes, and Walmart all on the weekend before Christmas. At .99 Cent store, Rose wanted to check out the frozen foods section to see if she could find seafood. Sure enough, shark steak, ahi tuna, talapia and shrimp all were represented. They were selling Chiquitas (mini bananas), orange toned cauliflower, as well as regular in the produce section. I found Stove Top Corn Bread stuffing, a bunch of honey, and an over abundance of Ragu in the pouch of all different flavors. I had that stuff at the regular price when I got it from Ralph's with a coupon - it's good. Rose got a little lost as we were waiting in the check-out line at .99 Cent Store because she went to find some toffee or chocolate for I don't don't know what she wanted to make. She finally caught up when she needed to pay the clerk.

Then we had to drive near the Grossmont Center in order to go to Trader Joe's. At Trader Joe's, Rose was on a quest for jalapeno bread that seemingly did not exist in December at this store. She found alternate bread she said she could use and apply her own jalapeno and cheese on foccacia. Fine, that will work. My mom is cruising the produce section buying more bananas? No mom, you bought bananas at the last store. Then she spots Persian cucumbers. I've never had them, but I like the English kind because they are supposed to be burpless, but she says the Persian kind good because they do not leave an after taste in her mouth for days (sounds like a food allergy to me). And we turn the corner and she gets marinara sauce in the can (she says it's the best) and Rose is looking for orange sauce on the other side of the aisle. By this time, I'm half way through the store and I'm thirsty and Rose is drooling over the langistina, but dreading the price. Everyone fondles the frozen shrimp in bags, but I convince at least mom not to get anything frozon because it will be sitting in a hot car dethawing while we eat lunch and we move on to the other freezer bins down the aisle. Then Rose spots Mandarin Orange chicken, and oh boy!, she's gotta have it. I turn the corner and see a refrigerator with a few remaining water bottles left for sale for .26 cents? Some crazy price. I thought I picked one that was not so frozen, but I was wrong. When we were in line and after I was through taking a cell phone call from my boyfriend outside of the store because I could hardly hear his voice with all of the commotion around me, I went back to the check out stand where my mom and Rose were and the clerk retrieved the water bottle for me. I went to open the bottle inside the store because by time I was parched and then I was douched in the forehead with ice cold water because of the pressure that has built up from the water being frozen. I went back outside to wipe the water off my leather jacket, hair, face, and glasses and stood out in the sun hoping the water would dry off some by the time the shopping fools met me on the side walk. I walked them to the car, packed up what they bought and off we went to the next stop - WalMart.

Now, in the car, I was pre-warned that this store located in the Grossmont Center is huge like you would not believe. It's two stories tall, had three front door entrances and it doesn't even have a grocery store in it. That is huge. Rose had some pants to return, so I dropped the ladies off at the first entrance I saw with the hopes that by the time I found a parking spot, they would be pretty much though waiting in the returns line at the customer service desk. Well, I had to tour the parking lot for about 10 minutes before some nice gentleman pointed out to me that the first regular spot next to the handicapped blue parking slots was open! Woohoo! Couldn't really get much closer than that unless I parked in the firelane on the sidewalk at the side of the store. So I parked the car, and went in side. I headed for the customer service desk thinking that they would be waiting in line, but no Rose and no mom. Now I'm thinking they are shopping - it's the thing to do, or maybe Rose went to check out the pants again. So I'm scanning the store for two short slow moving ladies with a cart and one with curly red hair and I can't seem to find them anywhere. O.K., I look around the entire first floor three times and I finally give up and head for the car. As I went out of the entrance they were dropped off at, there they are waiting for me. O.K., so the crazy shopping ladies are not so crazy after all and Rose said she didn't want to stand in that huge line for a long time, so she'd do it later in the week. Cool. Then we went to lunch at Red Lobster.

I have to tell you that I hate Red Lobster. It reminds me of McDonalds only for seafood. Not only that, but just about every freaking thing on the menu has been corrupted with butter, cheese, cream, or milk and lucky me, I am super lactose intolerant. (That should be placed upon a t-shirt for me.) And I mean super.

The Different Levels of Being Lactose Intolerant:

1) Gas, cramps, and bloating
2) I feel sick, but it goes away after a while
3) I feel sick, and I puke.
4) I feel like I've ingested poison and I'm going to die, I have gas, cramps, and bloating, I'm breaking out in a sweat, and I puke. It takes me a day to recover before I can eat anything again.

Level four equals super lactose intolerant for me.

So I scan the menu with the hope that I will be all right after eating this meal and I think I find something that won't bother me too dang much on their lunch quick section - wood grilled shrimp on a skewer, rice pilaf, and steamed broccoli. Thank God. This selection rivals my fav meal when I can find it - grilled steak and steamed veggies, so I think I'll be O.K., and I was.

And my lunch mates decided to start off the meal with a cocktail! All Right! Rose invited me to have one with them, but I declined since I was driving. And besides, I was too freaked out about my menu selection to drink anyway... I had to get through the meal!

Rose made polite conversation and asked me what I did for a living. I told her I work as a contractor to Fannie Mae, and of course, her interest peaked and I felt all eyes within earshot of what I said now searing through my flesh. She asked me what Fannie Mae was doing about all the foreclosures. I told her Fannie Mae has about six different programs to help borrowers stay in there homes... and I explained one to her where Fannie Mae loans the money outstanding to a borrower in order to catch up with their payments, but when they go and sell the home, they have to pay the money back. And I said that was the biggest problem. People want to modify there loan or refinance their loan, but when they have no income coming in and no job prospects, there is nothing to work with and they loose their homes. I also said, I have no sympathy for those who lied to get a loan, those brokers who lied to make a loan and line their pockets with the commissions, and those who bought a home they couldn't afford and closed with an adjustable rate loan to get the lowest payment. Ignorance is no excuse for your financial hardship, but some people try to make it so.

Anyway, after I gave her my spiel about what I thought about the real estate mess with all are living through, then the mood seemed to quiet down because the old ladies where sufficiently liquored up, fed and now tired and wanted to go home. I took Rose home first. She gave me a tour of her place (I was there before but I guess she doesn't remember) and she gave me red bell peppers to take home. Then my mom and I left for home at about 3PM after hanging up my mom's new clock that Rose got for her for Christmas. My mom gave me two kinds of loose tea and a two cup tea set.