Thursday, July 31, 2008

Good vs. Evil - George Carlin Style

You should know that I'm a card carrying Agnostic with a capital "A". Ha... agnostics don't really carry membership cards per say, but we are definitely not bible beaters types nor are we atheists. And it seems we are perturbed by both of those parties to some degree, so when we meet a fellow claimant, we give that person the benefit of the doubt as well as a long hard skeptical look.

I think Catholicism is the longest running joke humanity had ever experienced. It's archaic, ritualistic, and it's believed to associate itself with the most pedophiles in any organization ever next to maybe... NAMBLA.

Recognize the bobbing, weaving smoking receptacle the head honchos carry around? It's burning incense. In the good old bad old days, it was used to perfume the air in an attempt to cover the odoriferous scents of the flock because regular personal hygiene hadn't been invented yet. Actually, neither had indoor plumbing and running water.

And you can thank the catholics contributing specifically to the overpopulation the states of New Jersey, New York, and Florida because any effective and chemical form of birth control is out the window. Science be damned.

What I especially enjoy is that as a catholic, you can attend church regularly, confess your sins to an official of the clergy cloaked in secrecy and repent. In my eyes, these are religiously sanctioned therapy sessions. You make your donation before you leave, light a candle and ten "hail Mary's mother of Jesus" exclamations later - taadaa! - you're a nice, clean fresh soul once more and on your marry way.

I kind of feel sorry for the clueless flock of sheep who just don't get the fact that religion was created to unify the gods and control the unruly masses of the dark ages. Do you remember the dark ages? Not a very nice time to be roaming the earth, let me tell you. Plague, pestilence, and a general malaise over a population in transition from being nomadic peoples wandering about raping and pillaging to village dwellers farming crops living in more permanent structures that weren't allowed to rape and pillage their own lest they be stoned or damned, or burned at the stake, etc etc all sorts of disgusting torture techniques used at the time. Think about it - it's depressing to have to stay in one place. The entire travel industry exists just on this premise!

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