Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Karma's a bitch

In life, there is always a yin and a yang, a good and a bad, a right and a wrong, a black and the white. It's all those shades of gray that are the really messy stuff.

Steve is gone. He realized that he's not ready for a relationship. #1 reason: he's still in one. His host of health  problems, I feel, are due to stress from him not wanting to deal with his problems in the first place. His arguments are mostly circular which perpetuates his issues. I can't and won't fix you. Bye bye - good luck. You'll need it.

My mother passed away suddenly. I'm sure it was another blood clot that did her in. I wasn't close to her. I barely knew her. I'm glad I'm not that way with my son.

She did a lot of crappy things to hurt my brother and me while we were growing up and to this day some of her spite-filled actions, even through they were supposed to get my father's attention, still effect us. As adults, we feel fucked over by her passing in December and me discovering she had been living off of her credit cards for awhile now. I found two that were charge off's and there is this one for $15k. How the hell am I supposed to settle that? Shit.

She purposefully isolated herself away from family. After her triple heart by-pass last April, she finally understood doing so was not the way things are supposed to be and that her decision was screwed up.

I remember her saying this so many times when she didn't like what she was hearing from whomever it was that was saying it and now reflecting on the past, it wreaks of karma... drop dead. Ah, memories.

 I'll write more later when I'm not so busy. December is kicking my ass at work and home.

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