Friday, October 10, 2008

Blah Blah Ditty Bitty Blah

I'm sick of listening to all the noise about the economy. I'm going to take my complaint department and point it towards home.

When I drive to work each day, my car automatically thinks that initially I want fresh air. I turn on the ignition and *bloop*, I'm on the fresh air setting. This setting would be perfectly fine if I lived up in the mountains where the air is fresh and clean and smells like pine trees, sycamores and other assorted flora. But dear automobile, I travel through Los Angeles. And do I need to remind you that big old cities have a unique smell all their own. I remember reading somewhere that New York smells like urine. Everywhere you go, it's pee, pee and more pee. I think the person that invested money in placing pay toilets around that town would become a millionaire multiple times over, but I digress...

Well, Los Angeles smells like trash. Trash is constantly being hauled away from homes where it's initially picked up, driven to sorting facilities near freeways and all these trash trucks travel on the same roads I drive on 5 days a week to work. Large lumbering trash trucks not only move slowly upon the freeway clogging up traffic, but also leave a smell in their wake with the added 'benefit' of spreading bits of refuse along the way. You'd think LA residents were trash mongers with all of the things you see along the side of the road, but I think a good portion of it is from trash trucks.

There is a single point along the freeway that's between Franklin Heights and Los Feliz that distinctly smells like dog shit. I had the displeasure to find this out one day when it wasn't neither so hot that I had to engage my a/c unit on my car immediately nor so cold that I needed to have the heater on. Oh my God, what is that stench??? You're thinking to yourself if not yelling out loud in the car out of sheer disgust and maybe even checking the bottom of your shoes to make sure you didn't step in something. As I grew up, my parent ran a kennel, so I know the smell of dog dookie. I'm not happy about it, but I do.

Cats poo has never stank like a steaming pile of dog shit. I don't care if you are a card carrying member of a dog owners association and even if your AKC with papers blue blood K-9 has got trophy's and ribbons... dog shit is dog shit and dog shit smells. I wish Los Angeles had a smell patrol to get rid of that hellish stench that wafts into my car every time I pass by that area. PHEW!

Read: 3357+ Yelp! Reviews say Los Angeles smells

2 comments:

AVN said...

Probably the Los Angeles River you're smelling.

Rich said...

Late to this one, but it *definitely* is not the LA River. If you come off the 5 South at Los Feliz going towards Glendale, just go ahead and roll down those windows. It smells like a sewer, except really it's more like a homeless encampment's bathroom. Its simply vile.

I always wondered why no one ever went to the pool at that exit. Now I know.